Ladies and gentlemen, Your Honours, Members of the jury,
Since I'm not used to doing this,
This 'public speaking' part,
I thought I'd do it all in rhyme,
An ode, straight from the heart.
Now this wee girl sat on my left,
Aye, Liz, she'll have my life
If I am to omit that she
Is to be termed 'My wife'
So on my wife's behalf and mine
This twenty seventh of May,
Our thanks to every one of you
For adding to our day.
But first of all I must express
My sincere gratitude
To mom and dad of Campbell clan,
I dare not them, exclude.
You see, (cough) years ago this day,
Was born, my little pet,
And if mom hadn't borne this child,
I wouldn't be married, yet.
And then again this Campbell clan,
They really are so grand,
They brought Liz back, for me to court,
And then gave me her hand.
We met, as most of you well know,
In Stricklands, by the sea,
And Cupid took the form of two,
John and William Montgomery.
Again I must express my thanks
To clan of Campbell's head,
Not only for giving me Liz,
But laying on this spread.
Don't take it too bad, daddy 'C'
When you add up the cost,
Sure it's a son that you have gained
And not your daughter lost.
Then there are also my own folk,
My mum and dad so dear,
Who've guided me throughout my life,
From year to coming year,
My thanks especially to dad,
Who drove me in his car
From our house to the train station
And even miles afar.
Your services were needed dad,
A friend to me you've been,
And I can tell you, from my heart,
I love you, this I mean.
There's also mum who stayed behind
Preparing all the food
For Liz, when with us, she did stay,
I give my gratitude.
The families clothes you've laundered well,
For nigh on fifty years,
At last you're free from all of that,
So mother, Why those tears?
To Brian, Robert, Douglas, Bill,
And Best-man, 'Arfie' too,
This day would not have been the same,
If it were not for you.
You see, this 'penguin' and his wife,
In 'French Maid' style, to-do,
My breakfast on the lawn, did give,
For everyone to view.
To Jonathan and Gillian,
You really did excel,
And thanks to John and Billy too,
Your presence made our day swell.
To all our many other friends,
Who've proved themselves with seals
Of true friendship, we thank you for
The use of your four wheels.
Take Wesley, coming from his work,
He's really such a guy,
Would sometimes bring Liz home to me,
Sure he'd be passing by.
But poor old Wes, he's not all there,
His memory's really bad,
Oft' times when Liz he'd to collect,
I'd to revert to dad.
I'll tell you of his best excuse,
'Least this is what he says,
He'd not been working on Monday
And got mixed up ont' days.
He'd to collect Liz from her work
On Tuesday after four,
On Wednesday it dawned on him
'Tuesday was day before'.
But still there's many more to thank,
Too many to recall,
For fear of leaving some one out,
Our thanks to one and all.
So now to you in lands afar,
Who could not rise and go.
For your best wishes, we do send
Our thanks, via video.
It's pretty hard to write in verse,
I'm sure you would agree,
So I'll close now, lest it gets worse,
I hear you laugh, with glee?
However, there's one thing I've missed,
I've mentioned all, but these,
And that is of our two bridesmaids,
Who've done their task with ease.
The elegance and beauty there,
My wife to compliment,
Of Marion and Karen, one
Would swear, were 'heaven sent'
And so I ask you, raise your glass
To my wife's special aides,
And toast to 'health and happiness'
I give you, the bridesmaids.