Just a 'Martha'?

        

I was in my mid twenties,

Still single, low esteem,

My peers had cars, were dating,

Felt left out of ‘the team’

Though, was assistant leader

In youth group, Sunday night,

Cared less for sports or vehicles

And didn’t have foresight.

So I was just a ‘Martha’,

Prepped room, refreshments too

And once church service over,

I knew what I must do.

Re-boil the tepid water

Steep tea,  and coffee make,

To serve to all the youth folk,

Whatever they would take.

I then cleaned up the area

Of kitchen I was in,

And ventured to th’adjoining hall

Our meeting, soon, begin.

…………………………………………….

On one specific evening,

Three, rapid, times, no less 

I felt the love from, NO ONE,

Compassion gone, I guess.

I sat down at a table,

I’d set up, previously,

Then heard “You cannot sit down there,

It’s taken, can’t you see?”

After the third rejection,

Belongings, mine, I picked,

Spurning hurts, to me, it felt,

That to the ground, been kicked.

Know not if he had noticed,

Or someone did him tell

But within minutes of me leavin’

Th’other leader, my name, did yell.

Asking what had happened,

Told him, "I didn't fit,

If that was ‘love’ from Christians,

I wanted none of it".

Persuaded me to go back in

But firstly, he would talk

To all the group, in hope and trust

That I would still not walk.

Invited back, by him was I,

Apol’gies did abound,

They 'felt' sincere, by all the folk,

New friendships had I found?

…………………………………………….

That evening or within that week,

Satanic forces fought,

Telling me “You’re worthless

Your life with naught, is fraught.''

Reliving th'youth group instance

On video loop, it seemed,

In bed, I strove to fall asleep,

But STILL that instance screamed.

So bad it got, repeatedly,

That, knowing of my mum,

Her sleeping pills were within reach,

Would go and get me some.

Though 'some' wouldn't be sufficient,

I would take ALL, I guessed;

Before my feet could touch the ground,

I KNEW, I had been blessed.

I heard that 'silent whispering voice'

''How will your parents feel,

Whene'er your lifeless body find?

With grief, how will they deal?"

I LOVED my folk too much, for them

To have that heartache, great,

So stayed in bed and changed my side,

That 'video' did abate.

And INSTANTLY, it seemed to me,

A-sleeping sound, was I,

A good nights rest I did enjoy

Elated tears STILL cry.

Got up next morn without a thought

Of battle I'd come through,

And of the instance I'd endured?

My parents NEVER knew.

WHEN PEOPLE PUT YOU DOWN

GOD WILL ALWAYS PICK YOU UP.